SWOTVAC is looming



Goodmorning fellow University students and welcome to hell.  In my State, we are in Week 12, therefore, only one more week until Swotvac.  In this time, I have three, 2500 word, 40% assignments due, and a test.  In good news, I just handed in one, will hand in another tonight, and have already smashed out 600 words and 7 references on my next assignment.  Isn’t it funny how quickly May came around? Every student who I’ve spoken to this week feels the same, stressed, overwhelmed, scared.  We are all thinking the same thing: why didn’t I do the readings each week; why am I 10 weeks behind in lectures; why did I focus on watching Greys Anatomy and not understand what corporate social responsibility is? All these questions, no one has any answers.

Right now, I’m feeling like I am in a pretty good position.  I have my assessments almost completed, I have two and a half days of study for my test and after that I have a bit less than a month to study for exams.  All in all, pretty solid effort.  I just made a vague study plan for my exam time to decide whether or not I need to take any more time off work, but all in all I think it’s going to be okay. I’m feeling positive, proud and scared.  Hopefully, I make it through the next few weeks with only a few mental breakdowns and not too many midnight calls to my lecturers in tears.

For any of those people out there who have never had exams, then please, listen up. Your Facebook and Instagram friends at University are going to be pretty needy right now, posting pictures of Ryan Gosling telling them to keep studying (as seen above), of their desk space which they will spend all their time at, of their summary notes, of their study snacks etc etc.  Now, as a full time worker you’re probably sick of this by now.  So, let me explain to you what SWOTVAC and exam times are actually like.


You start of SWOTVAC pretty stoked. No lectures to listen to; no tutorials; no classtime. You feel done with Uni, plus you have about a month to do exams, woohoo! You love SWOTVAC. It’s just pure laziness.  There’s no need to wash hair, wash clothes, or even eat anything but Maggi beef noodles (or chicken, if you’re that kinda kid).  You can study all day, then have a break, then study again. You can sleep in if you want.  Exercise is a break from study, not a chore. You relish going to work to be around someone other than your housemate or your parents.  Cooking dinner is the hardest thing you can do, so you eat another round of Maggi beef noodles. You waste a week writing up your study guide and reading the textbook even though it isn’t examinable. You probably haven’t achieved half of what was on your to-do list.  Instead, you’re so exhausted from the semester that you’ve slept for half of SWOTVAC. Then exam time comes, and it gets stressful.  Whether you are lucky and have a day or two between exams, or unlucky and have them on the same day, shit hits the fan regardless.  So much build up, only to have an anti-climax and most likely leave the exam you spent 50 hours of your life studying for and you feel (know) you’ve failed.  Then, you get home and all you want to do is sit in your bed and watch episode after episode of Geordie Shore and wonder why you can’t get paid to not think and have sex with people, why you have to pay to study, to get a job that probably pays less than they earn.  But, instead of doing that, you get home, have a cry and then continue studying for your next exam even though you feel like ripping your eyes out and eating them.  Repeat that 3-4 times.

That is, to my worker friends, what exam time is like for students.  Then, you get three weeks holidays (in winter, ew) and you have to start it all again.

Good luck to everyone in their final weeks before exams, and their exams.  I hope your SWOTVAC goes better than mine ultimately will.


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